Coming Up Short

quill pen

Coming Up Short (2008)

Desperate for words to describe who you are to me
I come up short
with every attempt my mind won’t stop turning like leaves
caught in a whirl of wind my heart won’t rest

Fully aware that you consume me
there is a strange contentment
in the unrest of
coming up short

Expressions spill from the tip of my tongue
moving me to dance
stopped by my tears I come up short

Should it be song, lyrical
words accompanied by melody
rich with motion

Should it be prose, lofty
phrases telling the story
of my life in yours, yours in mine

Should it be poetic, freely
chosen phrases
capturing what is, what will be

If there is nothing new under the sun
why am I unable to put to voice
the vulnerable thoughts pervading my being
should there be words to say what I understand from coming up short

Words are not enough

Unable to fully say how I love You
knowing I come up short, yet
You love me,
my life will be my words.

This was a piece I wrote in 2008 and I have often wondered if there is a song waiting to come from these words.  I’m not a songwriter, so I continue to wonder.

It seemed appropriate to post it today.

My life will be my words!

I am home and they tell me I am recovering well.  It is frustrating to be so tired but I am not fighting it and my caregivers at home are wonderful.

I plan on being brief because I am still sorting through so much and coming up short on words.

The pathology reports were not what we had hoped for so the fight will continue. I will meet with the surgeon next week for my post op visit and to take the next step with an oncologist. The cancer has been staged at 3a. I won’t attempt to explain all of the staging but as it was found in a lymph node, this is not over.

For now, I thank you for the outpouring of prayers and support. It has been a strength and blessing to all of us. Please continue to pray.

From all of the Gratopps, thanks!

4 thoughts on “Coming Up Short

  1. Why are we given so much to do in so short of a time.

    I’ve often wondered why, after I’ve only spent three years with a middle school class, yet I don’t feel like I’ve finished.

    I’ve know all three of your children through the years and I cannot remember a trio of siblings, each in their own way, loving Jesus and others as well as each if them have. And a husband as seriously silly as Tony, whom I regret I know so little about. But when it comes to wisdom, caring, being a contributing and honoring woman to her church family, her own family and to her friends, I cannot name another with your capacity to “decide and move” forward like Diane Gratopp.

    We all watch you from afar. We believe in you. And I know Jesus is not done with you yet. We as a church family ae not done with you yet and through this time, when He, Who can do anything, seems so distant.

    We cannot be casual with the Creator of all things. He gives us this time to do His will in our lives to “work” with Him as He draws us unto Himself.

    Get well Diane is our prayer. Do that in the time we have left together as a church family to change Lincoln, Lancaster county, southeastern Nebraska, the Midwest the US, Mexico. Brazil and the rest of the world for Him.

    Gods speed Diane as He blesses you during this impossible and upside down, inside out next few months.

    We love what you have represented for so many years at First Free and look forward to many more.

    Liked by 1 person

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