A Little Review…for the author’s sake

Today I find myself looking back in order to move forward.  I needed a reminder of lessons learned and perspectives gained. I spent a small portion of time reading through many of my musings from this past year   in an effort to settle my heart a bit.

Dealing with disappointment is never easy. What a silly statement, as it is certainly nothing deep or enlightening. Yet, it is truth and I needed to refocus as a result of disappointment.

This past year, and much of my writing have circled around cancer and my thoughts and efforts to sort out those thoughts. So I’m reviewing in order to keep my focus.

One benefit of writing is the ability to draw from past moments. The writing gives me a glimpse into the clarity or confusion that I was facing in that moment. I have written that I don’t want to lose a sense of what I have felt or learned in recent months.  That is true. I don’t want to go back to many of those feeling, especially the physical feelings, but I want to remember what was learned in those moments.

  • There is beauty in simplicity
    • I want to be an extension of that beauty
    • I want to continue in simplicity and not complicate life, living, relationships

beauty in simplicity6

  • There is an importance in catching a full breath
    • I don’t want to miss life
    • perspective is powerful

breath

  • The Quiet is still essential
    • I want to continue to listen to what I know to be true
    • I want to remember what I have discovered about myself and what is of value to me

quiet1

  • So there are things that are of great value
    • assurance
    • family
    • humor
    • friendship

so there's this thing

  • I want to continue in the effort to number my days so that I want gain a heart of wisdom

numbers1

  • Seeking a FUL life is a daily thing
    • thankful
    • mindful
    • joyful
    • forgetful (this is so appropriate with disappointment)
    • thoughtful
    • grateful

thankful

My focus is a choice. I’m still working through the disappointment.  There is hurt attached and that doesn’t just disappear for me.  But it is okay.  It is really not so big and nothing for my nursing friends to worry about — it has NOTHING to do with my health. 🙂

I see progress in my life. That’s pretty exciting. I have seen growth in a peacefulness that is welcome. I don’t want to take multiple steps backward so I am reflecting on past lessons in order to move forward in a positive motion. I won’t stay in the past.  I won’t even stay in the past of yesterday’s disappointment.  The sting will surface on occasion. I am aware of that. But, there is much ahead.I’m still settling on HOPE and will be present in the new year. And the blessing that I ask is still to be brave, and strong and true.

 

4 thoughts on “A Little Review…for the author’s sake

  1. Diane: Your summary of what you learned that is important is wonderful. I am so glad your disappointment is not health related. My nursing instinct felt a catch in my breath until you stated that. 🙂 That being said, disappointments can result in a small grieving process, even though you may not have suffered an actual loss, if it is a loss of trust, and that sometimes is harder to take than one realizes. You sometimes will never know the reason why it happens. Overanalysis of a situation where you have no control will cause further disappointment. Letting go sets you free and yes it will sting for some time. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Jacqueline Baer

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    • Thanks. Living day to day has helped in letting go of what I cannot control and releasing the instinct to over analyze. I have a feeling this will be an ongoing process which is part of life

      Like

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